On-line Dating: A Survival Guide

A man goes to his Psychiatrist. He says, “Nobody listens to me.” Doc says, “NEXT!”

This classic Henny Youngman jokes keeps coming to mind lately as the perfect metaphor for on-line dating. You put your best self out there, eagerly waiting for someone to connect with the wonder that is you. But each time you log on, you see exactly how many guys (or girls) have viewed your profile and said “NEXT!”

Now to be fair, every one of us on these sites does plenty of blowing through profiles. Yet somehow, that doesn’t lessen the impact of this peculiar form of rejection. Then add to the mix the ones you reach out to who never respond, and the ones who contact you, who you have no interest in. Not to mention all of the dead-air phone calls and non-reciprocal in-person experiences. And suddenly, you’re back in Mrs. Pierce’s 6th grade homeroom, gazing at Tommy McGillicutty who you find totally dreamy but doesn’t know you exist; while fending off Ned Schmidt who you find totally annoying but keeps asking if he can walk you home. Not that this has ever happened to me… Read the rest of this entry »

You can’t hurry love

“Honey, don’t worry about finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. When you’re supposed to meet that special person, they will trip you, fall on top of you, and never let you up.” (Gloria Parker)

I read this recently in the Atlanta new age newspaper Aquarius and it made me smile. What a romantic notion that sooner or later, without any effort on my part, the Universe would conspire to put me and my soulmate on a collision course, and the rest would be history. But is it true? And if so, doesn’t it fly in the face of singles events, matchmaking friends and relatives, and the entire on-line dating industry? I say yes I think so, sort of…and no, not necessarily. Perhaps I had better elaborate. Read the rest of this entry »